3 Thomas R. Marshall Quotes on Humor

Thomas R. Marshall quotes on humor

5. In the city of Denver, while I was vice-president, a big husky policeman kept following me around until I asked him what he was doing. He said he was guarding my person. I said: 'Your labor is in vain. Nobody was ever crazy enough to shoot at a vice-president. If you will go away and find somebody to shoot at me, I'll go down in history as the first vice-president who ever attracted enough attention even to have a crank shoot at him.'

9. Bristow hasn't hit it yet. What this country needs is a good five-cent cigar. --reported comment made to a Senate clerk while Senator Joseph Bristow of Kansas was making a speech in which he repeatedly used the phrase, 'What this country needs....' Although Marshall may have spoken the words, they originated with newspaper cartoonist Kin Hubbard who had his 'Abe Martin' character say them. 1

10. An unfriendly fairy godmother presented him with a keen sense of humor. Nothing is more fatal in politics. --Colonel Edward M. House, adviser to President Woodrow Wilson.2