Quote #25

I never wanted to be an actor, I wanted to be a drunk. Now I'm neither, but nobody can tell the difference.

More from W. C. Fields

  1. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
  2. How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon- and went right on stumbling f…
  3. Hangman: 'Have you any last wish?' WC: 'Yes, I'd like to see Paris before I die . . . Philadelphia will do.' (from My Little Chickadee)
  4. I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I did remember my lines, it would be too bad for me.
  5. (singing) I'd rather have two girls at twenty-one each, than one girl at forty-two.
  6. I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake- which I also keep handy.
  7. I don't drink water. Fish poop in it.
  8. I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.

All W. C. Fields quotes