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It is useless to try to adjudicate a long-standing animosity by asking who started it or who is the most wrong. The only sufficient answer is to give up the animosity and try forgiveness, to try to love our enemies and to talk to them and (if we pray) to pray for them. If we can't do any of that, then we must begin again by trying to imagine our enemies' children who, like our children, are in mortal danger because of enmity that they did not cause.

Wendell Berry#47

WarPeaceChildrenEmpathyForgiveness

About this quote

What does it mean?
Adjudicating past wrongs is useless. Forgiveness and imagining the impact on children are better paths to end animosity.
In plain terms
Don't argue about who started the fight. Forgive and think about the children to stop the hate.
What can you take from it?
Forgiveness ends animosity better than blame.

Where it applies

  • resolving family disputes
  • discussing reconciliation
  • mediating conflict

Putting it to work

  • practice forgiveness
  • focus on children
  • avoid blame games

Questions to consider

  • Can forgiveness work without justice?
  • How do we protect children in conflict?

Another view

Forgiveness can feel impossible without accountability.

More from Wendell Berry

  1. We are disposed, somewhat by culture and somewhat by nature, to solve our problems by violence, and even to enjoy doing so. And yet by now all of us must at le…

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  2. We Americans are not usually thought to be a submissive people, but of course we are. Why else would we allow our country to be destroyed? Why else would we be…

    Permalink to quote #48
  3. Let us have the candor to acknowledge that what we call 'the economy' or 'the free market' is less and less distinguishable from warfare. For about half of the…

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