When I die, my epitaph or whatever you call those signs on gravestones is going to read: 'I joked about every prominent man of my time, but I never met a man I didn't like.' I am so proud of that I can hardly wait to die so it can be carved. And when you come to my grave you will find me sitting there, proudly reading it.

Lord, the money we do spend on Government and it's not one bit better than the government we got for one-third the money twenty years ago.

I originated a remark many years ago that I think has been copied more than any little thing that I've every said, and I used it in the FOLLIES of 1922. I said…

When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do - well, that's Memoirs.