More from Woody Allen

  1. How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
  2. I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
  3. How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
  4. I believe there is something out there watching over us - unfortunately it's the government.
  5. His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
  6. I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hu…
  7. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
  8. I don't tan, I stroke.

All Woody Allen quotes