Quote #42

Boris: I was walking through the woods, thinking about Christ. If he was a carpenter, I wondered what he charged for bookshelves.

More from Woody Allen

  1. Boris: Then there is a God. Incredible. Moses was right. [a ray of light shines over Boris] He that abideth in truth will have frankincense…
  2. Boris: If it turns out that there IS a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst you can say about him is that basically he…
  3. Boris: (a) Socrates is a man.(b) All men are mortal.(c) All men are Socrates. That means all men are homosexuals. I'm not a homosexual. Onc…
  4. Sonja: I do believe that this is truly the best of all possible worlds. Boris: Well, it's certainly the most expensive.
  5. Boris: Nothingness. Non-existence. Black emptiness. Sonja: What did you say? Boris: Oh, I was just planning my future.
  6. As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree'-probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
  7. Sgt: Next week, we leave for the front. The object will be to kill as many Frenchmen as possible. Naturally, they are going to try and kill…
  8. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

All Woody Allen quotes