Quote #1

In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!

More from Yakov Smirnoff

  1. Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting…
  2. The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
  3. In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to…
  4. Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
  5. (When asked by Johnny Carson what he liked most about living in the United States versus living in Russia.) 'Warning shots. In the U.S. the…

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