From Penn Jillette's 09-Mar-2006 radio show:

Good friendship is like an outdoor cat. Just hangin' out. It can take care of itself. It can be gone for a couple of days, it'll come back, no big deal. . . On…

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountai…

The only logical, sort of scientific way to figure this out is: you've got to put the bible down on a coffee table, and then you have to put a pair of soiled p…