The only logical, sort of scientific way to figure this out is: you've got to put the bible down on a coffee table, and then you have to put a pair of soiled panties down on the same coffee table on the other side, adjacent to the bible. Then you take your vibrator (or dildo) and you spin it around. Now, God will control the outcome of this experiment. If there is a God, he will make sure that the dildo points towards the bible, in which case you must stop masturbating, and simply destroy the dildo. This is just good science.

I question not only those who are getting their penis pierced, but also those who are doing the piercing. I mean, this is what you're doing for a living? God, …

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountai…

Here's the problem with TV. All people on TV are TV people, and TV people are dumber than the dumbest guys you went to high school with, they just dress better.

'Goethe, as lately quoted by Matthew Arnold, said those who have science and art have religion; and added, let those who have not science and art have the popu…

I think I have fairly heard and fairly weighed the evidence on both sides, and I remain an utter disbeliever in almost all that you consider the most sacred tr…

Science is paramount, but presents no challenge to a creed that rests on faith-based belief.