I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs.

I believe in low lights and trick mirrors.

I keep reading about this, erm, Indian guy that turns out like three or four thousand pictures a minute...or maybe it's a day.

I am a deeply superficial person.

Check this joke out: (Pointing to the back of the room as if to relay his post-show whereabouts.) If you wanna talk to me after the show I'll be : fuckin' surp…

My doctor has advised me to give up those intimate little dinners for four. Unless there are three people eating with me.

Loneliness comes in two basic varieties. When it results from a desire for solitude, loneliness is a door we close against the world. When the world instead re…