The only place Al Gore conserves energy these days is on the treadmill. I don't want to suggest that Al's getting big, but the last time I saw him on TV I thought, 'That reminds me - we have to do something about saving the polar bears.'

I don't know if [former U.S. President Bill Clinton is] gay. But [former U.S. Vice President] Al Gore - total fag.

Never mind his carbon footprint - have you seen the size of Al Gore's regular footprint lately? It's almost as deep as Janet Reno's

If Gore had been elected president, right now he would just be finding that last lesbian quadriplegic for the Special Forces team.

Al Gore could really pollute a bathroom ... Just look at the guy. If someone doesn't take away his pork 'n' beans, he's bound to get another one of those 'gut …

The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

I'm just watching Sen. 'Dick Turban,' ah, Dick Turban is doing his - from Illinois - he of Club G'itmo fame. Ha! I wish Roberts would have shown up in the Club…