Quote #17

I have given two cousins to war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

More from Artemus Ward

  1. The female woman is one of the greatest institooshuns of which this land can boste.
  2. My wife is one of the best wimin on this Continent, altho' she isn't always gentle as a lamb with mint sauce.
  3. N.B. This is rote sarcastikul.
  4. The happy married man dies in good stile at home, surrounded by his weeping wife and children. The old bachelor don't die at all - he sort …
  5. The fack can't be no longer disgised that a Krysis is onto us.
  6. They drink with impunity, or anybody who invites them.
  7. My pollertics, like my religion, being of an exceedin' accommodatin' character.
  8. Why don't you show us a statesman who can rise up to the emergency, and cave in the emergency's head?

All Artemus Ward quotes