OK. This 3-year-old kid is home alone, and a salesman comes to the door. The kid answers, and he's got a porno in one hand, a cigar in one hand and a bottle of J.D. The salesman goes, 'Hi, little boy, are your parents home?' The kid goes, 'What the fuck do you think?'

I've been known to run around naked when I'm trashed. So maybe indecent exposure. Actually, I'd probably be arrested for disturbing the peace. One time I was d…

Fuck-all. It's just a little town where everybody knows everybody and everybody's business, and there's nothing to do except get drunk.

I'm a shouter. If it's a guy making me mad, I'll scream in his face.