You should never say bad things about the dead, you should only say good:Joan Crawford is dead, good!

You should know me well enough by now to know I don't ask for things I don't think I can get.

You know what I'm going to have on my gravestone? 'She did it the hard way.'

You can't say I didn't fall for you.

You will learn nothing of importance from this story except, perhaps, how to die; but then, you were born knowing that and in any case it only has to be done o…

My grandfather died last week, and we buried him at sea. Well, I say we buried him at sea; it was actually a village in north Wales at the time.

I have occasionally had the exquisite thrill of putting my finger on a little capsule of truth, and heard it give the faint squeak of mortality under my pressu…