I'll show you politics in America. Here it is, right here. 'I think the puppet on the right shares my beliefs.' 'I think the puppet on the left is more to my liking.' 'Hey, wait a minute, there's one guy holding out both puppets!' 'Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here's Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid. By the way, keep drinking beer, you fucking morons.'

Just keep selling them the shitty shit. We'll be fighting the next war. They'll have muskets. 'America won a war with this.' 'Yeah, a hundred years ago!' [make…

There's a new party being born: The People Who Hate People Party. People who hate people, come together! 'No!' We're kind of having trouble getting off the boa…

And don't tell me this is the military that protects our freedom - hey, ladies and gentlemen, there ain't no one out there who's a fucking threat to us. They d…

If those in charge of our society - politicians, corporate executives, and owners of press and television - can dominate our ideas, they will be secure in thei…

There have always existed three ways of keeping the people loving and loyal. One is to leave them alone, to trust them and not to interfere. This plan, however…

If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none.