New Rule: Stop introducing a new iPod every month. First came the original, then the Mini, then the Shuffle, now the Nano. It's so slim Kate Moss uses it to cut her cocaine.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Maybe…

: I'd like to protect children, too, but: is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good. [:] They've midwived a lot of good id…

If I thought the Lord was speaking to me I'd check myself into Bellevue, and I think you should too.