: I'd like to protect children, too, but: is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good. [:] They've midwived a lot of good ideas: lot of great songs, you know? I think 'Penny Lane' is worth 10 dead kids. [:] I think Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids.

New Rule: Stop introducing a new iPod every month. First came the original, then the Mini, then the Shuffle, now the Nano. It's so slim Kate Moss uses it to cu…

I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out…

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Maybe…