I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?

: I'd like to protect children, too, but: is everything worth sacrificing to that? I mean, drugs have done a lot of good. [:] They've midwived a lot of good id…

On the third day, when they still hadn't done anything, uh, Fidel Castro - this is not a joke! - stepped forward to offer aid. Fidel Castro had to call a news …

New Rule: Stop introducing a new iPod every month. First came the original, then the Mini, then the Shuffle, now the Nano. It's so slim Kate Moss uses it to cu…