'What's in the tea?' 'Water, bitch!'

But here's what they don't tell you. You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining abo…

Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.

Women hate women. You get any two girlfriends in this room, been girlfriends for twenty five years, you put a man in between them : 'fuck that bitch', 'fuck th…

For conversation well endued; She calls it witty to be rude; And, placing raillery in railing, Will tell aloud your greatest failing.

'I'm not speaking to you. I wouldn't speak to you if your shirt were on fire.'

You need to have the courage to say to your wife, get in there and make me some bean dip.