I'm Rick James, bitch!

Dave Chappelle: 'Hey you, what's all this chocolate on your face, motherfucker?'

[while stomping dirty shoes on a suede couch] Fuck yo couch nigga'! Buy another one you rich muthafucka! Fuck yo' couch nigga! Fuck yo' couch! Darknesses, dark…

Mmmm Mmmm...You know Joe Rogan, this isn't the first time I've tasted penis, I've had several. In my line of work, you taste penises all the time.

The other night I was in New York and I made a diner reservation in my name. I showed up with my girlfriend and they asked who I was, so I said, 'Dave Grohl.' …

And then I went over to the concession stand to get some tea and I ran into Fiona Apple, and I was like, 'Who do you think you are, Fiona Snapple?'

I play in a rock and roll band called The Rock Bottom Remainders. It's other authors. It's Stephen King and Amy Tan and Dave Barry and a bunch of others of us.…