More from David Letterman

  1. For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
  2. Hang on to your wigs and keys.
  3. Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
  4. Hello. I'm David Letterman and I'm not wearing any pants.
  5. Do I think there is a heaven? Uhhh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really bad seats.
  6. Hey, uh...ya got any gum? (Norm MacDonald playing Letterman on SNL)
  7. Delta: A real man lands where he wants to.
  8. I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host?

All David Letterman quotes