More from David Letterman

  1. CBS, we're not even trying.
  2. Do I think there is a heaven? Uhhh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really bad seats.
  3. Are you cooking beans? What time is it? Is Zorro on?
  4. Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.
  5. On National Security Agency's eavesdropping program: Now all of us can talk to the NSA - just by dialing any number.
  6. For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
  7. I may not be smart enough to debate you point-for-point on this, but I have the feeling about 60% of what you say is crap.
  8. George Bush: WHAT?...WHAT?...WHAT?

All David Letterman quotes