16 Denis Norden Quotes

Denis Norden quotes

1. He had the kind of handshake that ought never to be used except as a tourniquet.

2. What is a harp but an over-sized cheese-slicer with cutlural pretensions?

3. A counter tenor is anyone who can count to ten.

4. Smetana certainly knew which side his bride was bartered.

1. Middle age is when, whenever you go on holiday, you pack a sweater.

2. We saw more of each other than we did of our wives. We wrote everything together. But how long can you go on doing that? How long can you go on being half an entity?

3. And when you're on your own there is that terrifying possibility that you may be the only person on the planet who thinks it's funny - and you have no way of finding out.

4. I used to like writing for comedians - I enjoyed the challenge of making other people funny.

5. I have better peripheral vision in my left. It is quite hard to remain optimistic, but I have found the Macular Society, of whom I've been an enthusiastic supporter for nine years, tremendously helpful in providing support.

6. You know you're getting old when a four-letter word for something pleasurable two people can do in bed together is R-E-A-D.

7. If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

8. I've written not milestones of cinema but millstones.

9. And if you can offer an explanation as to why it doesn't work then you've got to the whole root of comedy.

10. I recognise the pure gold that runs in Andy Hamilton and Guy Jenkin's work for 'Outnumbered' on TV. And on radio, I really enjoy John Finnemore.

11. Then after that came word processors and it's hard to make those laugh.

12. You can't have your kayak and heat it.