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Emo Philips
Quote #6
People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.
More from Emo Philips
New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, 'I'd like a card.' He says, 'You have…
When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, 'Emo, don't go near the cellar door!' One day when they were away, I went to the door and open…
I was walking down Fifth Avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: 'Well, if I lost…
When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. So I j…
I caught my wife in bed with another man. I was crushed. I said: 'Get off me, you two!'
When I was ten, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.
You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.
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