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The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves. It is not love of self but hatred of self which is at the root of the troubles that afflict our world.

Eric Hoffer#48

PsychologyWarRelationshipsSelf perceptionEmpathyForgivenessSelf love

About this quote

What does it mean?
Human behavior toward others mirrors how we treat ourselves. Self-hatred drives global conflict more than genuine love for others.
In plain terms
We treat others the way we treat ourselves; hating ourselves leads to hating others.
What can you take from it?
Improving how we treat others starts with improving how we treat ourselves.

Where it applies

  • interpersonal relationships
  • community conflict
  • personal growth

Putting it to work

  • practice self-compassion
  • reflect on self-talk
  • identify projection

Questions to consider

  • How do you treat yourself when you fail?
  • Does your anger at others mirror internal frustration?

Another view

External factors like resource scarcity also drive conflict independently of self-perception.

More from Eric Hoffer

  1. Modern man is weighed down more by the burden of responsibility than by the burden of sin. We think him more a savior who shoulders our responsibilities than h…

    Permalink to quote #47
  2. The real 'haves' are they who can acquire freedom, self-confidence, and even riches without depriving others of them. They acquire all of these by developing a…

    Permalink to quote #49
  3. When we believe ourselves in possession of the only truth, we are likely to be indifferent to common everyday truths.

    Permalink to quote #46

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