Sexually active coat hangers are at their peak when they are in a small closet. We once lived in an apartment with a closet so small it couldn't support a rod: just two nails. Within a week (the shortest gestation in the history of coat hangers) we had thirty-seven of those little suckers.

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow…

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.

Give me, give me God's own country! there to live and there to die,

I was seven years old. What do you know when you're seven years old? All my life, or so I thought, we'd been in the city of Alexandria, in the Street of the Ca…

Familles, je vous hais! foyers clos; portes refermees; possessions jalouses du bonheur.