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Erma Bombeck
Quote #37
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
More from Erma Bombeck
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your ch…
People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfor…
Oh, quit being such a Pollyanna.
Sexually active coat hangers are at their peak when they are in a small closet. We once lived in an apartment with a closet so small it cou…
No self respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.
Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coinc…
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