Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

Sexually active coat hangers are at their peak when they are in a small closet. We once lived in an apartment with a closet so small it couldn't support a rod:…

While it is possible to play a single game, unrelated to any other game events past or future, it is the campaign for which these rules are designed. It is rel…

Poor verdant fool, and now green ice! thy joys, Large and as lasting as thy perch of grass, Bid us lay in 'gainst winter rain, and poise Their floods with an o…

I was thirty-two when I started cooking; up until then, I just ate.