Quote #42

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

More from Erma Bombeck

  1. Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coinc…
  2. There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
  3. Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.
  4. There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.
  5. Sexually active coat hangers are at their peak when they are in a small closet. We once lived in an apartment with a closet so small it cou…
  6. What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
  7. People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfor…
  8. When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and says he's doing nothing, but the dog is barking, call 911.

All Erma Bombeck quotes