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Erma Bombeck
Quote #49
When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home.
More from Erma Bombeck
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used every…
When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to …
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.
When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and says he's doing nothing, but the dog is barking, call 911.
Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
Youngsters of the age of two or three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into…
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