'You know what's stupid? Skiing. You get on top of a slippery mountain with sleds on your feet and you go down... big deal. Try not to. Or, go up! Now that'd be a sport for ya!'

'You ever see that sign: 'This Door Must Remain Shut At All Times'... why have a goddamn door?'

'If M & M's 'melt in your mouth, not in your hand.' what would they do, say... under your armpit?'

'Y'know, God experimented with the other animals before he got around to us. You ladies oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and getting that udder idea out…