'We go to school to learn to communicate, but all the teachers say to us is 'shut up!'

'Why is it called a 'building' when they're done building it? It should be called a 'built.' Or, you could say, 'I live in that crumbling over there.''

'Wonder why it is your underarms stink. Did it ever come in handy? Did you ever say 'Well thank God my underarms stunk! He came out of the bushes and I said Ge…

'If nothing sticks to Teflon, what makes it stick to the pan?'