Quote #142
On Opening Day, the President doesn't throw out the first ball. He throws it in. If he threw it out, it would land in the parking lot and someone would have to go get it.
More from George Carlin
- Rarely does a loose woman have a tight pussy.
- The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.
- Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.
- Imagine how thick Japanese people's photo albums must be.
- Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work …
- A lot of these people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt.
- I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
- As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero, he no longer is.