24 George Carlin Quotes on Politics

George Carlin quotes on politics

5. Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to fuck in the first place, man? There's such balance in nature.

10. I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took the group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan Administration.

11. And Edwin Meese alone has been investigated by three separate Special Prosecutors, and there's a fourth one waiting for him in Washington right now. Three separate Special Prosecutors have had to look into the activities of the Attorney General. And the Attorney General is the nation's leading law enforcement officer!

12. They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street crime, providing that street isn't Wall Street.

39. Then there are all those people in the space program. Nas-holes, I call them.

62. I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally.

69. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.

72. For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label. I feel that if I was figuratively dropped on the Earth and there was a political line, I would be just left of center. The difference for me is that conservatives are more interested in property values and rights and free markets, and liberals are more interested in human rights. In the end, there are people who don't fit into the marketplace and are not equipped. I believe the government should step in where the free market fails.

73. When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts : Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

74. [T]he difference between left and right of center : originated in the French parliament. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. Broadly speaking. And generally speaking, people on : the right of center, are interested in property values, property, property rights. The rights and the rights of property. And generally speaking again - it's all generalized - the left-of-center people are more concerned with humans and human beings and human concerns; to the care of humans, not the care and worry about property rights. That's generally been true. And Bush is pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before.

81. Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It's because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

82. Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?

83. You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

84. Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.

85. This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be free. Am I right? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! So they killed a lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people, giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow Japanese people. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out.'

87. In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

89. Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.

94. I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.

101. : This experiment, this magnificent experiment in democracy is just being shredded to pieces by these right-wing Christians, the Ashcroft branch of Republicanism. [They're] just shredding the rest of the Bill of Rights which hadn't been shredded already.

142. On Opening Day, the President doesn't throw out the first ball. He throws it in. If he threw it out, it would land in the parking lot and someone would have to go get it.

151. The status quo always sucks.

152. Fuck soccer moms.

154. Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.

165. I worry about my judgment when anything I believe in or do regularly begins to be accepted by the American public.