11 George Carlin Quotes on Criticism

George Carlin quotes on criticism

4. Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.

10. I really haven't seen this many people in one place since they took the group photographs of all the criminals and lawbreakers in the Ronald Reagan Administration.

18. Millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the god question. Do you believe in God? No. Boom! Dead. Do you believe in God? Yes. Do you believe in my God? No. Boom! Dead. My god has a bigger dick than your god!

30. Religion has actually convinced people : that there's an invisible man : living in the sky : who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of 10 things he does not want you to do! And if you do any of these 10 things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry, forever and ever, 'til the end of time! : But he loves you! : He loves you. He loves you and he needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, all-wise, but somehow - just can't handle money!

39. Then there are all those people in the space program. Nas-holes, I call them.

43. Here are some more men who oughta be strapped to a gurney and castrated with fishing knives. White guys who shave their heads completely bald. They're so ashamed they lost eleven hairs, they try to turn it to some kind of a masculine statement. I say hey, you goofy-lookin' baldy-headed fuck! Looks good on black guys, on you it's ugly, repulsive and disgusting. You wanna be bald? Do what I did - wait a while. In the meantime there's no excuse for running around looking like a freshly circumcized dick.

96. The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.

101. : This experiment, this magnificent experiment in democracy is just being shredded to pieces by these right-wing Christians, the Ashcroft branch of Republicanism. [They're] just shredding the rest of the Bill of Rights which hadn't been shredded already.

127. Cancer research is a growth industry.

200. Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft.

206. Where ideas are concerned, America can be counted on to do one of two things: take a good idea and run it completely into the ground, or take a bad idea and run it completely into the ground.