Quote #18

Millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the god question. Do you believe in God? No. Boom! Dead. Do you believe in God? Yes. Do you believe in my God? No. Boom! Dead. My god has a bigger dick than your god!

More from George Carlin

  1. Catholic - which I was until I reached the age of reason.
  2. I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people. A maniac will beat 9 people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat 9 people …
  3. Here's another question I have. How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelet? Are we so much better tha…
  4. I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
  5. Some of you might be familiar with some of my more famous tips from the past. How to get rid of counterfeit money? Put it in the collection…
  6. No matter what color you are, 'You go, girl' should probably go! Right along with 'You the man!'
  7. A lot of people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie; tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror…
  8. 'Happens to be.' 'He happens to be black.' Like it's a fucking accident, you know. He happens to be black? Yes, he happens to be black. Ah,…

All George Carlin quotes