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George Carlin
Quote #17
Catholic - which I was until I reached the age of reason.
More from George Carlin
Here's another question I have. How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelet? Are we so much better tha…
Millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the god question. Do you believe in God? No. Boom! Dead. Do you b…
Some of you might be familiar with some of my more famous tips from the past. How to get rid of counterfeit money? Put it in the collection…
I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people. A maniac will beat 9 people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat 9 people …
A lot of people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie; tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror…
I don't have pet peeves, I have major psychotic fucking hatreds!
People I can do without. This is my list: guys in their fifties named 'Skip'. Anyone who pays for vaginal jelly with an Exxon credit card. …
No matter what color you are, 'You go, girl' should probably go! Right along with 'You the man!'
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