Quote #15
Some of you might be familiar with some of my more famous tips from the past. How to get rid of counterfeit money? Put it in the collection plate at church!
More from George Carlin
- A lot of people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie; tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror…
- Here's another question I have. How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelet? Are we so much better tha…
- People I can do without. This is my list: guys in their fifties named 'Skip'. Anyone who pays for vaginal jelly with an Exxon credit card. …
- Catholic - which I was until I reached the age of reason.
- They [the Reagan Administration] want to put street criminals in jail to make life safer for the business criminals. They're against street…
- Millions of dead motherfuckers, all because they gave the wrong answer to the god question. Do you believe in God? No. Boom! Dead. Do you b…
- And Edwin Meese alone has been investigated by three separate Special Prosecutors, and there's a fourth one waiting for him in Washington r…
- I distinguish between maniacs and crazy people. A maniac will beat 9 people to death with a steel dildo. A crazy person will beat 9 people …