9 George Carlin Quotes on Law

George Carlin quotes on law

11. And Edwin Meese alone has been investigated by three separate Special Prosecutors, and there's a fourth one waiting for him in Washington right now. Three separate Special Prosecutors have had to look into the activities of the Attorney General. And the Attorney General is the nation's leading law enforcement officer!

14. A lot of people try to get out of jury duty by lying. You don't have to lie; tell the judge the truth. Tell him you'd make a terrific juror because you can spot guilty people [clicks his tongue] just like that!

25. Whoever coined the term 'Let the Buyer Beware' was probably bleeding from the asshole.

54. One guy, about a month ago, was given three consecutive life terms, plus two death penalties. How the fuck do you serve that? Even David Copperfield can't do that shit. In order to do that, you'd have to be a Hindu.

62. I call him Governor Bush because that's the only political office he's ever held legally.

68. I don't understand why prostitution is illegal. Selling is legal. Fucking is legal. Why isn't selling fucking legal? You know, why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away? I can't follow the logic on that one at all! Of all the things you can do, giving someone an orgasm is hardly the worst thing in the world. In the army they give you a medal for spraying napalm on people! In civilian life you go to jail for giving someone an orgasm!

98. The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: you cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal', 'Thou shalt not commit adultery' and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

132. Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

193. If the cops didn't see it, I didn't do it!