George Carlin Quotes on Sports
-
Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life; football begins in the fall, when everything is dying.
-
Baseball is a 19th century pastoral game; football is a 20th century technological struggle.
-
Baseball is the only major sport that appears backward in a mirror.
-
Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.
-
Boxing is not a sport. Boxing is a way to beat the shit out of somebody. In that respect, boxing is a more sophisticated form of hockey. But beating the shit out of somebody isn't a sport, in spite of what the police think. When police brutality becomes an Olympic event, fine, then boxing can become a sport.
-
Don't you find it funny that all these tough-guy boxers are fighting over a purse?
-
How come none of these boxers seem to have a losing record?
-
Gymnastics is not a sport because Romanians are good at it! Took me a long time to come up with that one, but by God, I thought of one.
-
Hockey is not a sport. Hockey is three activities going on at the same time: ice skating, playing with a puck, and beating the shit out of somebody.
-
If the Cincinnati Reds were really the first major league baseball team, who did they play?
-
Swimming is not a sport; swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!
-
You ever watch golf on television? It's like watching flies fuck.
-
Running isn't a sport 'cause everybody can do it. Anything we can all do can't be a sport. I can run, you can run. My mother can run : you don't see her on the cover of Sports Illustrated, do you?
-
On Opening Day, the President doesn't throw out the first ball. He throws it in. If he threw it out, it would land in the parking lot and someone would have to go get it.