'When all is said and done, America will understand that Michael Moore smells like pancakes.'

'I wave the flag for the principles of our nation: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable rights and t…

[Martini music plays in background]'I know what you're saying <insert female caller's name here>, but I am a happily married man.'

'In a lot of ways, I'm just an average Joe. But on radio, I can take listeners to places they haven't seen, to times that are lost. And I've only begun to scra…

Both constructs of the aphorism hold true. But, because it is an American convention to adore common people without restriction, I elect here to criticize them…

Former lefties can make a good living in the media by attacking their ex-comrades - I'd do it myself if the price was right.

What a jolly awakening there will be some few years hence, when the inevitable argument of experience will show us a nation contradicting itself through the vo…