Quote #10

I love the way garages leave black buckets outside for your dead flowers.

More from Jack Dee

  1. I had a wet dream about you last night. I dreamt you got hit by a bus, and I pissed myself laughing.
  2. I had a blowjob once. I didn't like the taste.
  3. I thought that I saw your name on a bag of bread but when I reread it, it said 'Thick Cut'.
  4. I always love it when a great, new, comedian gets hit by a bus.
  5. I've got a video that doesn't record the film, it just watches it and tells me what happens. 'Oh, Meryl Streep bought this farm somewhere, …
  6. I hate people who think it's clever to take drugs... like custom officers.
  7. People walk up to me and say, 'You're not as big as you are on telly, are you?' Well, I don't know. How big's your fucking television?
  8. I've had death threats... well a petition.

All Jack Dee quotes