Quote #8

I thought that I saw your name on a bag of bread but when I reread it, it said 'Thick Cut'.

More from Jack Dee

  1. I've got a video that doesn't record the film, it just watches it and tells me what happens. 'Oh, Meryl Streep bought this farm somewhere, …
  2. I had a wet dream about you last night. I dreamt you got hit by a bus, and I pissed myself laughing.
  3. People walk up to me and say, 'You're not as big as you are on telly, are you?' Well, I don't know. How big's your fucking television?
  4. I love the way garages leave black buckets outside for your dead flowers.
  5. Unlike European mustards that bring out the subtle flavours of food, English mustard makes your nose bleed.
  6. I had a blowjob once. I didn't like the taste.
  7. [on pre-EU British passports] You used them to shove aside officials. 'Out of my way, Johnny-foreigner! Reason for visit? Imperialism!'
  8. I always love it when a great, new, comedian gets hit by a bus.

All Jack Dee quotes