Quote #25
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
Attribution disputed; shown as originally published.
More from Jacob Cohen
- My father never liked me, he'd tell me to go out and play 'Hide and-go-fuck-yourself'.
- I went to see my doctor. 'Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me?' He …
- I was such an ugly kid- when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.
- I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.
- I was so ugly... When I was born, the doctor slapped my mother!'
- I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice- I don't know if I'm coming or going.
- I was so poor growing up, if I wasn't born a boy I'd have nothing to play with.
- I'm ugly I'm tellin' ya. My proctologist, he stuck his finger in my mouth.