The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

The chill Miss Trent has her men frustrated to a point at which a mortal male would smack her little mouth, so smooth, so firm, so free of nicotine, alcohol an…

The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody's guess.

The appreciative smile, the chuckle, the soundless mirth, so important to the success of comedy, cannot be understood unless one sits among the audience and fe…

Look at that magic marker. What, you think that's some kind of crayon?! Take the cap off, sniff it, and get high!

Giving me a new idea is like handing a cretin a loaded gun, but I do thank you anyhow, bang, bang.

Unless you're passing a bowling ball, I don't think so. Unless you're trying to circumsize yourself with a chainsaw, I don't think so. Unless you're opening an…