343 Food Quotes

The way to any woman's heart, be she witch or Wonderwoman, princess or Pocahontas, is through her stomach.

Slicing a warm slab of bacon is a lot like giving a ferret a shave. No matter how careful you are, somebody's going to get hurt.

I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd eat it, and I just hate it.

I bet you think an egg is something you casually order for breakfast when you can't think of anything else. Well, so did I once, but that was before the egg and I.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

Better a dish of husks to the accompaniment of a muted lute than to be satiated with stewed shark's fin and rich spiced wine of which the cost is frequently mentioned by the provider.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

My favorite animal is steak.

I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

Americans have no capacity for abstract thought, and make bad coffee.

I doubt whether the world holds for any one a more soul-stirring surprise than the first adventure with ice-cream.

As we have seen, bread, and especially dry bread, evokes secretion of considerably larger quantities of saliva than meat.

Edible substances evoke the secretion of thick, concentrated saliva. Why? The answer, obviously, is that this enables the mass of food to pass smoothly through the tube leading from the mouth into the stomach.

It has long been known for sure that the sight of tasty food makes a hungry man's mouth water; also lack of appetite has always been regarded as an undesirable phenomenon, from which one might conclude that appetite is essentially linked with the process of digestion.

The coffee will be ready in a jitney.

Take an Indian home to lunch.

What neat repast shall feast us, light and choice, Of Attic taste?

Herbs, and other country messes, Which the neat-handed Phillis dresses.

What am I singing? A song of seeds The food of love. Eat the music.

Winner knows nothing about food.

The thing I liked about writing about food when I started it was that I felt I was writing about food in a different way. Not like a food writer.

Cursed be all those on land and sea who eat their fill, cursed be all those who starve yet raise no hand in protest, cursed be all the bread, the wine, the meat which day by day descends deep in the entrails of the exploited man and turns not into freedom's cry, the murderer's ruthless knife!

I like racing but food and pictures are more thrilling. I can't give them up. In racing you can be certain, to the last thousandth of a second, that someone is the best, but with a film or a recipe, there is no way of knowing how all the ingredients will work out in the end. The best can turn out to be awful and the worst can be fantastic. Cooking is like performing and performing like cooking.

When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate.

When I was old enough to realize all meat was killed, I saw it as an irrational way of using our power, to take a weaker thing and mutilate it. It was like the way bullies would take control of younger kids in the schoolyard.

If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

Get in there and make me some bean dip!

The Asian people feed the Blacks pork food so they can beat them in war.

Tell the Jew we're out of brisket.

Who'll let the good father take a look for an Arby's beefwich?

Silly sea monsters.

Poppy seeds! Poppies!

Gimme yo damn sandwich.

Cut and come again.

After I eat asparagus...

I hate having people feed me fine French meals when all I want is macaroni and cheese

Rice Krispies happens to be one of my favorite junk foods, just as I regard Michener as superior among junk writers.

The guy owes me $6.80 for a footlong tuna with extra pickle

Martha, telling Phil her new recipes from prison:

Do you super-size?

When I'm in power, here's how I'm gonna put the country back on its feet. I'm going to put sterilizing agents in the following products: Sunny Delight, Mountain Dew, and Thick-Crust Pizza. Only the 'tardiest of the 'tards like the thick crust.

'Anybody hungry by the way? I Kinda. Hey Janne can You hook up some mother fucking sausage? Looking Good. BBQ with Children Of Bodom. Actually it tastes really good, you wanna try some. Well come on at least we bring cooked food.'

I'm frightened of eggs, worse than frightened, they revolt me. That white round thing without any holes : have you ever seen anything more revolting than an egg yolk breaking and spilling its yellow liquid? Blood is jolly, red. But egg yolk is yellow, revolting. I've never tasted it.

The smell of the ripe fruit is certainly at first disagreeable, though less so when it has newly fallen from the tree; for the moment it is ripe it falls of itself, and the only way to eat Durians in perfection is to get them as they fall. It would perhaps not be correct to say that the Durian is the best of all fruits, because it cannot supply the place of subacid juicy fruits such as the orange, grape, mango, and mangosteen, whose refreshing and cooling qualities are so grateful; but as producing a food of the most exquisite flavour it is unsurpassed. If I had to fix on two only as representing the perfection of the two classes, I should certainly choose the Durian and the Orange as the king and queen of fruits.

Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Mayonnaise, n. One of the sauces that serve the French in place of a state religion.

If you really want to make a friend, go to someone's house and eat with him...The people who give you their food give you their heart.

Go into the garden and get me a pumpkin.

'Remember that there are hundreds of thousands of things you can eat that are not cheese.'

Cook me in your breakfast, and put me on your plate, 'cause you know i taste great.

I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam I Am.

'If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it.' (1986)[1]

French cooking's all very well, but they can't do a decent English breakfast. (2002)

'Yes, I like my coffee hot and strong : Like I like my women: hot and ..strong : with a spoon in them.'

I like my coffee hot and strong, like i like my women, hot and strong... with a spoon in them.

Pears can just fuck off too. 'Cause they're gorgeous little beasts, but they're ripe for half an hour, and you're never there. They're like a rock or they're mush. In the supermarket, people banging in nails. 'I'll just put these shelves up, mate, then you can have the pear.' : So you think, 'I'll take them home and they'll ripen up.' But you put them in the bowl at home, and they sit there, going, 'No! No! Don't ripen yet, don't ripen yet. Wait til he goes out the room! Ripen! Now now now!'

I do not like broccoli and I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli. Now look, this is the last statement I'm going to have on broccoli. There are truckloads of broccoli at this very minute descending on Washington. My family is divided. For the broccoli vote out there: Barbara loves broccoli. She has tried to make me eat it. She eats it all the time herself. So she can go out and meet the caravan of broccoli that's coming in.

Hello, Cocoanut Arms. Yes, we have a dining room. If it's fish, we have it. If it's meat, we have it. If it's fowl, we've had it too long.

Soup is never eaten as hot as it is cooked.

Oh, my friends, be warned by me, That breakfast, dinner, lunch and tea, Are all human frame requires.

'Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces'

A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.

Cook: We have some breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks.

Jack: Breast of flamingo and gazelle steaks?

Jack: I know, but peanut butter?

The most dangerous food is wedding cake.

A true German can't stand the French, Yet willingly he drinks their wines.

At my house dinner easily could have consisted of a bologna sandwich, and then you'd split. You might come back later and grab a few peanuts, and then you'd split again. That was it. I would go to my buddy Sal's house for dinner. I couldn't understand what was going on with everyone sitting down together. I'll never forget seeing romaine lettuce for the first time. I thought it was weird - I was afraid of it. There was salad and appetizers and soup. I had no idea about that. I grew up on hillbilly food. (2004)

There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.

I enjoy cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food I'm cooking.

If you're afraid of butter, use cream.

Honolulu, Hawaii: (At a luau) '...a unique native stunt though the Hawaiian food we were made to eat was too revolting for words....One got rather tired of the native songs & longed for some of our tunes' (14 April 1920)

And we meet, with champagne and a chicken, at last.

Ho! 'tis the time of salads.

Cooking for six people every day is like having a cafe.

If slaughterhouses had glass walls the whole world would be vegetarian.

The art of dining well is no slight art, the pleasure not a slight pleasure.

I could eat my body weight in sushi.

An army marches on its stomach.

The authorities liked to say that we received a balanced diet; it was indeed balanced - between the unpalatable and the inedible.

Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One must eat muffins quite calmly, it is the only way to eat them.

International rock star - gravy maker extraordinaire.

I'd always thought her half-baked, but now I think they didn't even put her in the oven.

To eat bread without hope is still slowly to starve to death.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.