They say Flintstone's vitamins are chewable. All vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty. I'm glad they made Flintstone's vitamins because I used to watch The Flintstones and go, 'Man I bet you if I ate that dude, I would be healthy.'

I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.

You know that word 'lull'? That's four letters, three of them are L's, fuck! That's too many L's in one word! The word lull is one letter away from... [gets ha…

I was walking down the street the other day when this guy asked if I wanted a frozen banana...I said 'no' but then thought I might want a regular banana later,…

When I purchase a food item at the supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The United States government require…

Our salmon sandwiches are so good you'll want to swim upstream to our kitchen and spawn. But please don't.

Why am I laughing? I don't know... it's incipient madness, that's what it is. I'm quite looking forward to that actually, as I drift into an unattractive middl…