Quote #80

They say Flintstone's vitamins are chewable. All vitamins are chewable, it's just that they taste shitty. I'm glad they made Flintstone's vitamins because I used to watch The Flintstones and go, 'Man I bet you if I ate that dude, I would be healthy.'

More from Mitch Hedberg

  1. I love my fed-ex guy cause he's a drug dealer and he don't even know it...and he's always on time.
  2. You know that word 'lull'? That's four letters, three of them are L's, fuck! That's too many L's in one word! The word lull is one letter a…
  3. I was walking down the street the other day when this guy asked if I wanted a frozen banana...I said 'no' but then thought I might want a r…
  4. I like when they bring a comedian on stage, they always tell you what else they do. But fuck, this is enough, isn't it? He's here tonight p…
  5. (to audience) I like the way this is situated here. It seems like you guys were chasing me, closing in, and then said 'fuck it...lets sit d…
  6. I have a king sized bed, i don't know any kings, but if i ever meet one i can tell him 'you will not believe what i have in store for you!'…
  7. Some people think I'm high on stage; I would never get high before a show, because, when I'm high, I don't wanna stand in front of a bunch …
  8. Mitch Hedberg (writer). (1999). Comedy Central Presents: Mitch Hedberg [Television series].

All Mitch Hedberg quotes