103 Marketing Quotes

A vast sector of modern advertising... does not appeal to reason but to emotion; like any other kind of hypnoid suggestion, it tries to impress its objects emotionally and then make them submit intellectually.

[As of November 17, 2006] 'Noelle's Treasure Tale' has remained at No. 3 on the New York Times children's best seller list since its October 10 release.

In a nation that has developed to a high art advertising, the creator who refuses to advertise himself is immediately suspected of having no product worth selling.

Again, your challenge is not just to improve. It is to break the service paradigm in your industry or market so that customers aren't just satisfied, they're so shocked that they tell strangers on the street how good you are.

People ridiculously overvalue aesthetics and beauty when evaluating products. It's one of the reasons iPods, and, for that matter, Keanu Reeves, are so successful.

But you have to allow a little for the desire to evangelize when you think you have good news.

Nobody reads a mystery to get to the middle. They read it to get to the end. If it's a letdown, they won't buy anymore. The first page sells that book. The last page sells your next book.

I'm 82 years old, wherever I go everybody knows me, but here's why... I'm a merchandiser, I'm not just a writer, I stay in every avenue you can think of.

I am tired of hotels promising to go the extra mile only to have them refuse to go round the corner!

A question: when is a bed not a bed? When it is angled lie-flat. My back hurts, my legs ache and my clothes are all rumpled - and all because the airline, which claimed to have a bed, actually offered up a torture machine which I prefer to call a slide.

Here it is at last, the first 150-minute trailer. Armageddon is cut together like its own highlights. Take almost any 30 seconds at random, and you'd have a TV ad. The movie is an assault on the eyes, the ears, the brain, common sense, and the human desire to be entertained. No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out.

The art of advertisement, after the American manner, has introduced into all our life such a lavish use of superlatives, that no standard of value whatever is intact.

'... there are now unmistakeable signs of a trend in favor of superior products at premium prices. The consumer is not a moron, she is your wife.'

'The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife. You insult her intelligence if you assume that a mere slogan and a few vapid adjectives will persuade her to buy anything. She wants all the information you can give her.'

'H. L. Mencken once said that nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. That is not true. I have come to believe that it pays to make all your layouts project a feeling of good taste, provided that you do it unobtrusively. An ugly layout suggests an ugly product. There are very few products which do not benefit from being given a first class ticket through life.'

'Everybody gets a tag. If you listen to a Velvet Underground record, you don't think, 'Godfathers of Punk.' You just think, 'This sounds great.' The tags are there in order to help try to sell something by giving it a name that's going to stick in somebody's memory. But it doesn't describe it. So 'depressing' isn't a word I would use to describe my music. But there is some sadness in it -- there has to be, so that the happiness in it will matter.'

'Disco is a major influence in the world of fashion. It is a dynamic factor in contemporary advertising. It is a message from every consumer that there has been a rediscovery of America's greatest by-product: fun.'

You might think the word 'homemade' is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time.' So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

'The more advertising I see, the less I want to buy'

'It has been found that the less an advertisement looks like an advertisement, and the more it looks like an editorial, the more readers stop, look and read. Therefore, study the graphics used by editors and imitate them. Study the graphics used in advertisements, and avoid them.'

The easiest way to attract a crowd is to let it be known that at a given time and a given place some one is going to attempt something that in the event of failure will mean sudden death.

Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it: it says 'Chicken of the Sea'.

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

Commercials were too phony for me. I just didn't like selling a product I didn't believe in.

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, 'It's free with purchase.' I asked her if anyone bought anything today.

Here's your quote: 'Thomas Pynchon loved this book, almost as much as he loves cameras!' Hey, over here! Have your picture taken with a reclusive author! Today only, we'll throw in a free autograph! But wait, there's more!

The junk merchant doesn't sell his product to the consumer, he sells the consumer to his product. He does not improve and simplify his merchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client. (p. 224)

Advertising is 85 percent confusion, and 15 percent commission.

Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

I didn't think they airbrushed anything that much any more! (in Cincinnati, on 3/3/07, re: Rachel Ray on a box of Triscuits)

It is not true that a rose by any other name will smell as sweet. Were it true, I should call this story 'The Great Orley Farm Case.' But who would ask for the ninth number of a serial work burthened with so very uncouth an appellation? Thence, and therefore,- Orley Farm.

I can't tell you what hotel I'm stayin' in, but I can say that there are two trees involved. They said, 'Let's call this hotel 'Something...Tree', so they had a meeting; it...it was quite short. 'How 'bout Tree?' 'No, Double Tree.' 'Hell yeah! Meeting adjourned!' I had my heart set on 'Quadruple Tree'... damnit, we were almost there!

Yes, we're lazy. Yet we also can't seem to sit still. So we've started making things like GO-GURT. That's yogurt for people on the go. Let me ask you, was there a big mobility problem with yogurt before? How time-consuming was it, really? [pretending to be on the phone:] 'Hello?...Oh, hi, Tom...oh, I've been dying to see that movie...Umm, no...I just opened up some yogurt...Yeah, I'm in for the night...No, not even later-it's the kind with fruit on the bottom. Well, have fun. Thanks anyway.'

B-U-Y Centennial Sell 'em pre-canned laughter America Perennial Sing happy ever after

'Our new AP covers are out this weekend, and, in the spirit of shameless self-promotion.........

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people

The movie stars six teenage characters who have been marketed on TV and in toy stores. They have names, but no discernible personalities. None of them ever says anything more interesting than 'You guys!' As teenagers, they are skilled in-line skaters and karate fighters, but they don't get their real powers until they turn into faceless clones in Power Rangers uniforms with plastic masks and helmets. Is that the message? Faceless conformity is the way to success? Certainly the Rangers are not individuals in or out of uniform, but I wonder if they don't represent a triumph of merchandising over creativity. Children's heroes have traditionally been individualistic and eccentric. The Rangers are not, properly speaking, even characters. They are color-coded products...Paging through the movie's press kit, I came across this quote attributed to Amy Jo Johnson, who plays Kimberly, the Pink Power Ranger: ' `Mighty Morphin Power RangersT: The Movie' is a mix between Star Wars and The Wizard of Oz. ' I wonder if Amy Jo actually said 'TM' when she was delivering that wonderfully fresh and spontaneous quote, which is so much more involved than anything she says in the movie. More to the point, I wonder if she has ever seen 'Star Wars' or 'The Wizard of Oz.'

He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.

Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.

But first, an exciting new product from Peenman Enterprises!

I'm offering people an opportunity to ride in my Z3 - weekends only - I'll give you a ride around Beverly Hills, I'll pull up in front of some of the stores on Rodeo and give people the impression you can afford to shop there, at $200 an hour.

We're hoping to get car washes to put up a sign that says, 'THIS CAR WASH CAN CAUSE FEAR.'

The Altadena Dairy Corporation of America needs to make it known that they're making a sharp Vermont chedder than makes people bleed from the butt and think they've been sleep-raped.

Whenever you think of hair, think of me, Bob Green.

(advertising for a dairy company) Tell them that Herb Sewell, convicted child-molester sent you.

Rock: Finally, The Rock has come back to New Jersey! Just as sure as for the very 1st time, Kevin Kelly, the rock stepped right is this Arena and called you an ugly hermaphrodite, is as sure as this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock will be in hell, in a cell. This is gonna be the most brutal match The Rock has ever been in. The dangerous-est match The Rock has ever been in. The Hell-in-a-cell. And it doesn't matter Kevin Kelly what you call it. Whether it's called a Hell-in-a-cell, or rage-in-the-cage, painus-in-your-anus, the only thing that matters is that The Rock is going in this sunday night to do exactly what he does best. And thats layeth the smackdown and get back The Rocks WWF Title. And the fact of the matter is this, is that The Rock knows, this Sunday night he's got his work cut out for him. The Rock knows he's got 5 other guys he's gotta compete with, and even it The Rock's gotta beat Kurt Angle, which means - - (Mocking Kurt Angle) I'mm gonna drink a big glass of milk! Have some chocolate cookies, and maybe have 3 viagra! (Normal Voice) Or maybe The Rock's gotta face Rikishi, beat Rikishi! (Imitating Rikishi) I did it for the rock. I did it for the people. I did it for - - (Normal Voice) Oh, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOU THONG-WEARIN' FATTY! Or maybe, The Rock's gotta beat the Undertaker, the American Bad-Ass. Beat him so bad that one more time he'll rise up - - (imitating undertaker) Rest... In... Peace......... ('Fainting' but rising, and speaking in his normal voice) or maybe The Rock's gotta beat Triple-H himself - - (Imitating HHH) Which means-ah... He's gotta beat The Game-ah... In the middle of the Ring-ah... And he has a 2-dollar s*** for a wife-ah...... (Normal Voice) Or maybe The Rock, has gotta to beat - - (Wearing Stone-Cold Steve Austin's hat, and speaking with his southern accent) Stone Cold Steve Austin, which means, I gotta get in, I gotta get in my Pick-up truck, drink some Steve-Weiser, listen to some Backstreet Boys... (silence) ... and That's the bottom Line, 'cuz the Great One said so! (Normal Voice) And one more thing, this Sunday night at Armageddon, The Rock's gotta do all he can to win the WWF Title, IF YA SMEEEEEEEEEEELL......... WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!

C4's prime marketing concept is the appeal to a 16-34 audience. This has some strange consequences-a series explaining Islam, for example, is entrusted to Peaches Geldof. There's an obsession with adolescent transgression and sex. Gordon Ramsay is hired to make a series called The F Word; Designer Vaginas is followed by The World's Biggest Penis. Earlier this autumn, unless I dreamed it, we were subject to a 'wank week.'

'I'm doing a new song in this show. Actually, I sang it on the last tour... It's a song, it's called 'Between My Legs,' and it's going to be another of my HUMONGOUS hits. They're gonna love it in the Bible Belt! ...Beneath the Bible Belt! ...Hey, that's pretty good! Beneath the Bible Belt... *giggle* Er, below the Bible Belt! Eh, however it goes... *giggle* This song's about the end of the world. Okay, here we go...' ~Before 'Between My Legs' in Northampton, MA on Nov. 4, 2005

Words calculated to catch everyone may catch no one.

Sun Microsystems had the right people to make Java into a first-class language, and I believe it was the Sun marketing people who rushed the thing out before it should have gotten out.

American business has just forgotten the importance of selling.

I think right about now we have to beware of marketed Malcolms and Martins. Real people do real things.

Overall the rap that we're exposed to is maybe 15 percent of what's out there. What the major companies have done in the last few years is find out that they couldn't find any more Whitesnakes. They took a look at their marketing budget and put it behind hip-hop and figured out how to make it pop.

I don't have the Tom Hanks fans. When you make the kind of movies I make, you get weird letters from people.

Ethan is annoyed with all of these dumb campaigns that indoctrinate millions of people into thinking they're tough-guy free spirits when, in fact, there's probably much to be said for following and, in any event, the food chain isn't structured to encompass millions of non-followers.

'My name is Mrs. Smith, I've made apples out of bread and dripping, a bit of green paint, and corrugated iron.' 'No, these are horrible apples, Mrs. Smith. Go away, Mrs. Smith! Go away until your daughter has a baby.' 'Shag, daughter, shag! It's a marketing idea, shag for babies! (mimes running back) My daughter's had a baby, I'm Granny Smith now!' 'Come in, Granny Smith! You're a wonderful idea, you! Come in with your shiny apples.'

Would you like to sin With Elinor Glyn On a tiger skin? Or would you prefer To err With her On some other fur?

[On David Beckham:] 'He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that he's all right.'

My idea in 'My Sweet Lord,' because it sounded like a 'pop song,' was to sneak up on them a bit. The point was to have the people not offended by 'Hallelujah,' and by the time it gets to 'Hare Krishna,' they're already hooked, and their foot's tapping, and they're already singing along 'Hallelujah,' to kind of lull them into a sense of false security. And then suddenly it turns into 'Hare Krishna,' and they will all be singing that before they know what's happened, and they will think, 'Hey, I thought I wasn't supposed to like Hare Krishna!'

The owner approached my publicist about two years after the incident and thanked her. Said, 'It was so great for us that Johnny got arrested at our hotel and sent to jail. You can't imagine the business we got out of it.' (2003)

Promo? It's a fucking nightmare!

The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it.

I don't even know how this word came into being: 'aerobics'. I guess gym instructors got together and said, 'If we're going to charge ten dollars an hour, we can't call it 'jumping up and down'.'

'You know how you once had that thing where the wrestler rode a little bus all over the country, shakin' hands, and kissing babies? You should have a Stone Cold Express, where I get out in every town and kick everyone's ass. At least that wouldn't suck.' (to Vince McMahon, referring to Lex Luger's 'Lex Express')

'Tune in next week, Same Stone Cold Time, Same Stone Cold Channel!' (parody of the most famous Batman ending narration: Tune in next week, Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel!)

'Most people made the wrong impression about the World Wrestling Federation. We're a non-violent form of entertainment.' (Before he hits someone with a chair) (During the WWF 1999 commercial)

By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. Just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root. I don't know. You try. You do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously, though. If you are, do. No, really. There's no rationalisation for what you do, and you are Satan's little helpers, okay? Kill yourself. Seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No, this is not a joke, if you're going: 'There's going to be a joke coming.' There's no fucking joke coming. You are Satan's spawn, filling the world with bile and garbage. You are fucked, and you are fucking us. Kill yourself, it's the only way to save your fucking soul. Kill yourself. Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going: 'He's doing a joke.' There's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, fucking hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend - I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil fucking machinations. I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too. 'Oh, you know what Bill's doing? He's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart.' Oh man. I am not doing that, you fucking evil scumbags! 'Oh, you know what Bill's doing now? He's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. Lot of people are feeling that indignation, we've done research. Huge market. He's doing a good thing.' God damn it, I'm not doing that, you scumbags. Quit putting a goddamn dollar sign on every fucking thing on this planet! 'Oh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that.' God, I'm just caught in a fucking web. 'Oh, the trapped dollar. Big dollar, huge dollar. Good market, look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar :' How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like fucking babies at night, don't you? 'What did you do today, honey?' 'Oh, we made arsenic childhood food. Now, good night. Yeah, we just said, you know, is your baby really too loud? You know : yeah, the mums will love it, yeah.' Sleep like fucking children, don't you? This is your world, isn't it?