Why am I laughing? I don't know... it's incipient madness, that's what it is. I'm quite looking forward to that actually, as I drift into an unattractive middle-age. I quite like the idea of waking up one morning quite plainly mad, I mean not dangerously mad, but just mad enough to be sent off somewhere where I can just sit and watch television and eat Indian meals for the rest of my life. I should be entirely happy doing that. You know, just waking up one morning imagining that you're something like an umbrella stand or something like that, and I find it quite an attractive prospect, I must say.

While that was going on my gums started bleeding. I'm not exactly sure what the significance of this is, perhaps it's the prelude to a religious experience. I …

Well, me too, at times, I have to admit, I'm a victim of the pressures of modern life. I know that one of these days something's going to snap in my head and I…

I'm back from Crete, a gorgeous golden brown. If you could see me I'm sure you would want to dance around me.

If the moon were made of barbeque spare ribs, would you eat it? ...I know I would. Heck, I'd have seconds. And then polish it off with a tall, cool Budweiser.

When I purchase a food item at the supermarket, I can be confident that the label will state how much riboflavin is in it. The United States government require…

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.