I'm back from Crete, a gorgeous golden brown. If you could see me I'm sure you would want to dance around me.

The people you don't actually know and who don't know you...when you turn up, and of course they're expecting you to look like one of Echo & The Bunnymen or so…

While that was going on my gums started bleeding. I'm not exactly sure what the significance of this is, perhaps it's the prelude to a religious experience. I …

I'll play you another track from that LP before the end of the programme, cause I rather like it, I must admit. It's also the kind of record which gets people …

Little and hairy. But if [The New York Post] want to go with smart and stylish then hey, more power to them. Good luck.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

What Dad means by 'see' of course, is 'drive past at 67 miles per hour.' Dad feels it is a foolish waste of valuable vacation time to get out of the car and ac…